Meshta Ankarith

I have a model kit of the Enterprise-D that I purchased for the amount of $90 about 8 or 10 years ago. It is really nice: it has lights all through it, with fibre optic wires to illuminate the windows. I left it untouched in its box for at least four years, until one day I decided it was time to build it. For two full days I worked at it almost non-stop, to the point where I had soldered most of the relay wires and inserted about fifty single fibre optic cables through tiny holes drilled in the hull. Unfortunately, somehow the tape holding the bundle of wires together decided to lose adhesion, and the whole lot of tiny, near invisible wires leapt out in an inapproachable mess. Needless to say, I was not happy.

Now, however many years later, it still sits on a table, covered in dust, fibre optic wires sticking out every which way. I’ve hardly touched it since those two days. My thoughts when I see it are always, “some day…”

What is the point to this story? Well, I think it illustrates one of my unfortunate character traits (and one that is common to full-on INTPs like me): I am nearly incapable of finishing things that I start. There are so many other examples that I can see around me: scenery for my model trains, a siege tower for Warhammer, many artworks and pieces of writing, numerous programming projects. I believe the cause is a combination of two things: first, my mind is satisfied once I know how to do something, and actually doing it is not important; and second, that I work in bursts of inspiration, which is not conducive to long-term projects. Indeed, when I think back, every time I have completed a project, it has been for someone else (or for a Uni assignment) and it has been a struggle to realize. Unfortunately, regardless of how very very very very very very very very attractive a near-hermit lifestyle is to me (if plebeiphobia isn’t a word, it should be), I doubt I will achieve anything great (or, more likely, good) without other people.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 9th, 2004 at 1:26 am and is filed under Life updates. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.